End of the Year Review

Well, it's the end of another school year. And once again I've been atrocious at keeping up with my blog posts.

For me, the approach of May is usually an opportunity for me to look back on the school year and reflect on what went well and what didn't. Sometimes it's easy to get bogged down focusing on what didn't work. It's easy to be overly critical of ourselves. We're supposed to demand perfection, aren't we? But at the same time, if you don't acknowledge the progress you're making, then it becomes tough to motivate yourself to move forward.

I think this can be true in a lot of areas of life, not just in work. It's true in athletics and physical fitness. How can you push yourself to run a faster mile time without celebrating your previous milestones? Or in marriage. How can you feel like you're being a better spouse without looking back and laughing at just how clueless you were in your first year? Or even your relationships with siblings, parents, friends, or even God. Wherever there is growth, there is an opportunity to celebrate steps in a journey.

Yesterday Christina and I got to celebrate yet another step in a journey. Ellery ate cereal for the first time. It's another step that not only marks the beginning of her use of real food, but also marks the progress and growth she's made since the day she was born.

Graduation is approaching for a lot of our seniors. Many of them will celebrate it as the end of a phase of their life. But maybe they should be celebrating the progress they've made and will continue to make.  The majority of our seniors (not all, but the majority) are very different people than they were when they were freshmen. Their knowledge has increased. Their writing skills have increased. Their social skills have increased. It's a time to reflect on all the things they've accomplished and all the things yet to come.

Because here's the truth: You're going to continue growing. You're going to continue learning. Four years from now you may look at the person you are today and roll your eyes and grimace. You might look at the person you are right now with jealousy or even disdain because things will be more challenging in the future. The only thing for certain is that the person you will be four years from now will not feel like they are looking into a mirror when they look at you.

Change happens. And that's reason to celebrate.

My Top Romance Films

My honors freshman English students have just finished reading Romeo and Juliet in class. I have to say I've been impressed at how well they have done with the material they've been given. I've remarked over and over again at just how well they have responded to the story and how engaged they have been with something that was written about 400 years ago.

And because I'm a nerd and I like lists, I decided that now would be a good time for me to make a list of my top romance stories of all time. 

DISCLAIMER: I'm actually going to try on this list. My favorite movies and books might just be action-adventures, but I'm going to get in touch with my feminine side and give this a solid effort. 

1. Jack and Rose in Titanic - There's no romance like "Oh-no-we're-both-going-to-die romance." I  won't lie that I saw this when I was in fourth grade. The movie was a huge deal at the time and it's probably the first romance I ever saw that I actually cared about. Come to think of it, it might have just been the first tragedy I ever saw.

2. The Notebook - I made fun of this film relentlessly when it first came out. But then, I make fun of most movies the first time I see them. The film seems to borrow themes from Romeo and Juliet by talking a lot about summer romances and how they are "like shooting stars" which blaze brilliantly for a short time and then burn out. Both were held apart by the disapproval of others. Romeo and Juliet were shooting stars who basically vowed to burn out together. So this is almost like what would have happened if Romeo and Juliet had just had more patience and an awesome old house to renovate.

3. Padme and Anakin in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones - Ha, just kidding. That's a terrible romance.

4. The Decoy Bride - I watched this one with Christina because it had David Tennant in it. It's a silly movie, but it's fun. Yes, the whole premise is a bit ridiculous (famous actress needs a decoy to distract paparazzi so that she can have a private wedding) but it takes place in a tiny island hamlet in Scotland and feels almost like the British version of Sweet Home Alabama. I just like Tennant as a bumbling writer who stumbles on success almost by accident.

5. Letters to Juliet - another film I saw with Christina. It's a fun-filled romp through the Italian countryside with a snooty British guy who turns out to be not half-bad. You know where this is going...but in all seriousness, half the film revolves around an elderly couple who are seeking each other after fifty years apart. Those two are probably just as interesting as the younger couple and provide what Shakespeare never seemed to be able to show: two elderly people in love.


Just for fun: Warm Bodies - a zombie take on the story of Romeo and Juliet. The guy's name is Rrr (for Romeo) while the girl's name is Julie. There is a balcony scene. They're held apart by the disapproval of zombies and humans. So..yeah. Shakespeare's influence right there. 

Wanna Play Crazy Driver?

Well I've completely fallen flat on my face when it comes to making blog posts over the last two months. Kohls has been kicking my butt.

But since it is a lovely Saturday morning and I did not travel for forensics, Ellery is relatively content in a high chair, and I have just a little bit of time before I need to start cleaning the house, I figure this would be an ideal time to post. Specifically on this whole "raising a human" thing.

Over the last few weeks, Christina and I have both been back to work and trading off on who takes Ellie to the babysitter in the morning. However, even though Christina has been back at her job, I'll be the first to admit that she has has taken on more work when it comes to Ellie. Christina is the one waking up at 3:00 a.m. to feed her when she's hungry. She's also the one taking care of her when I'm gone Tuesday and Thursday evenings for forensics practices as well as Fridays and Saturdays when we're at meets. Heck, even when I'm the one taking care of her, usually it's so that Christina can do something like, oh I don't know, EAT A MEAL.

I'm definitely blessed to have Christina for a wife. She does all this and more and she loves being a mom.

Even with my limited time with Ellery, I've definitely seen a difference in how Christina and I handle her. (Is "handle" a good word to use for raising a baby? Sounds like Ellie is a stick shift or something)

Probably a prime example would be in the "games" we'll play with her. Christina will interact with her and will work to get others to interact with her as well. Like the dogs. Peety, for the record, is not a fan of being "ridden" by Ellery. But he does like to lick her face. She doesn't seem to mind it, either.

But Christina will, by and large, interact with Ellie on almost a spiritual level. Our baby is perfect, and Christina will take moments to appreciate Ellery's perfectness.

Me? Well, Ellie and I play "crazy driver."

Ellie will lay back against my knees and I hold her hands so that she can "buckle her seat belt," "turn on the car," "grip the steering wheel," before simulating driving 120 mph down a freeway. Ellie always "crashes" the car, but thankfully she has an ejector seat so she can "parachute down."

Her eyes usually get intensely big whenever we play.

Sometimes we'll play "beat box," where I'll make a hip-hop beat and have Ellie bust out some dance moves.

Sometimes we'll play "sports fan" where I teach Ellie how to cheer OU.

And about a week after she was born I made a video of her on her belly set to the tune of "Eye of the Tiger." I called it "Eller-eye of the Tiger."

So we've done some pretty dorky stuff. Not that Christina hasn't done her share of dorky stuff (she hums "The Imperial March" to her sometimes). But it is interesting just to see how the things we do seem to compliment each other. I sometimes feel like I have to make the most of the time I have with Ellery because the next evening I may not be home until 11:00 p.m. So my way of taking advantage of that is to play some of these high-energy "games" with her. But she also needs these quiet moments with both of us, and Christina is the best when it comes to calming her down or getting her to feel secure and sleep.

Are we doing it right? I think so. There are certainly "wrong" ways to raise a human, but as long as we just "play" crazy driver and don't actually drive crazy, I'd say we're ok.

Christmas Battles

Christmas is serious business for some people. So serious, in fact, that we have to have wars over it.

Fox News is at the forefront of the battle. The fact that some businesses and groups use a more generic "Happy Holidays" greeting instead of "Merry Christmas" is considered an opening shot in a much larger fight. They even have an interactive map so that people can find places where Christmas is "under attack" by supposedly secular forces who want to call Christmas trees "Holiday Trees." And that just ain't right. Sarah Palin writes books about it. And people pay to read them.

What I found interesting was a separate article about the "original" American war on Christmas that took place 400 years ago. What's ironic is that religious groups were the ones trying to get Christmas banned. They saw Christmas as a pagan ritual that was devoid of Christ. They viewed the Christmas season as one of excess and decadence. The traditions like Santa Claus, Christmas trees, and singing carols? They were considered almost satanic in nature and mentioned nowhere in the Bible.

What disappoints me about this is that to me, the "spirit of Christmas" should be beyond notions of battles and war and fighting. "Peace on Earth" should be the prevailing theme. If someone wishes me "Happy Holidays" then I should simply feel happy someone was thoughtful enough to do so. Likewise, if someone told me "Shalom" because they are Jewish, I might feel compelled to respond in kind. The biggest thing is that it is not a big deal. Someone is obviously being nice to me. I should be thankful!

Thankful. Peaceful. Not judgmental. One of my favorite Christmas songs is a piece called "Christmas In the Trenches" by John McCutcheon. It's about the Christmas truce between German and British soldiers during World War I. Men who were trying to kill each other one day were singing Christmas carols together the next. You can listen to it below:

The song is a reminder that what matters is not what divides us but what unites us. There are always going to be differences among us and it's important that we don't look at others and see "the enemy." It's important we don't look at others and see an opponent. It's important that we don't look at a  greeting as a symptom of something sinister.

Christina, Ellery and I went to a small gathering at church Sunday afternoon for a carol sing service for all the churches in town. It was pretty nice because it was one of the first Christmas-y things we've done this year. You just can't help but feel good after singing songs like that.

The service was enjoyable to me also because of how simple it was. It just consisted of showing up, calling out carols and then singing through them. Afterwards we had hot cider and cookies and conversation.

And what were those songs? "Silent Night." "O Come All Ye Faithful." "The Friendly Beasts." "Away in a Manger." "The First Noel." "God Res Ye Merry Gentlemen."

You know what wasn't on that list of Christmas songs? "Onward, Christian Soldiers."

'Tis not the season.

I'm going to leave off with a link to an article I've always found hilarious because of how sad it is. It's about the actual war on Christmas that almost occurred between North and South Korea:

ASIA/NORTH KOREA - Threats of war for "the lights and Christmas trees on the border"

As I said, Christmas is serious business.

Ellery

Well this is different.

It's been almost a month since my daughter, Ellery, was born. Baby time came right when I was driving a group of six freshmen from a novice debate meet heading back to Buhler. I'm proud to say I didn't freak out too much, even though I wanted to. Safety first.

She was born at 10:45 the next morning weighing 5 lbs 3 oz. She's a little squirt, but she's got the heart of a champion. There's already a tremendous debate within the family over whether she's going to be a professional swimmer or a piano player. Quite a bit of pressure to put on a baby when the nurses are just concerned over whether or not she's gaining weight. Besides, she's got the look of a politician, anyway. Moot point, people.

Thankfully she has been gaining poundage, though. At the last weight check she was pushing 6 lbs and may have already surpassed that. She's healthy, and that makes us happy. Like, winning-the-lottery happy. Ecstatic. Joyful. And tired.

I expected to feel tired, but I had also expected to feel more stressed than I have been. Part of that is because she's doing well (no jaundice or other early issues) but I'm also much more relaxed around Ellery than I've ever been around other babies. I suppose a big part of that is because she's my baby and not someone else's. If I mess something up, it's my own dang fault. But then, I'm only worrying about my own guilt rather than someone else's disapproval.

We're still early enough into things that taking care of Ellery has been relatively easy. The first week and a half our biggest challenge was just getting her to wake up so we could feed her. She just slept all the time. In fact, she's only just recently started staying awake when people come to visit her.

And oh boy, does she have visitors. I've never felt so popular-by-extension. Just about everything I post on Facebook gets three times as many likes as they normally would. I've briefly thought about just mentioning her briefly in every post: "Seriously, Jay Cutler? Another injury? You're tanking my fantasy team! #Elleryjustburped"

But enough of that. A small project I worked on was this short video of Ellery. I'm going to close by posting it and getting back to grading (incredibly behind on grading, but I'm gaining).

Catharsis

In English class recently we've touched briefly on the elements of tragedy and talked a bit about catharsis, which is a term with several meaning but is basically a "purging of emotion" that comes about by experiencing an intensely emotional story. Audience members would supposedly come to the play with an excess of emotion and the play would restore them to a more natural balance.

While medically speaking that's ridiculous, part of me believes there might be some psychological merit to it. How many people gravitate to the saddest part of a movie? How many people find themselves drawn to intensely sad stories? There are some films that are intensely sad all the way through (Like Schindler's List) and some that just have sad moments (like The Lion King).

What's interesting to me is that I don't really re-watch the intensely sad movies all that often. For example, the full movie of Schindler's List from above? I've probably really only seen it once all the way through. Everything else has been clips here and there. It's a tough pill to swallow. Instead, for my catharsis, I rely on other films that have maybe one sad portion in it. Like Homeward Bound. Man, that's a good movie.

Is that a bit wimpy? Yeah, probably. But it's not like I'm wanting to eat an entire cheese wheel of sadness. I want my films to be the cheese dip of sadness. Just enough to get a taste, and then move on to the main course.

So this is how nuclear wars begin...

So I need to set the record straight, here. 

One of my fellow English teachers, Jason Kohls, has falsely stated that I have claimed the title of "Alpha Male" of the English department.

Given that there are four male teachers in our department, that would be incredibly brazen of anyone to say. However, here are the facts:

• Yes, I did tape an article to Jason's door that implied he thought baby deer are adorable. 
• Yes, I did tell my kids to "prove they had more compassionate hearts than those jerks across the hallway" while raising items for the homeless. I can see how Greg Froese and John Knapp could misinterpret my meaning.
• Yes, I printed a tweet Jason made with the hashtag #whatupbauer
• Yes, I do like to be a snazzy dresser. 

But I started writing this blog post at first to DENY that I EVER said I was the alpha male. However, Jason gave the situation all the grave seriousness of a brewing nuclear conflict:

So, it would seen the battle for masculine supremacy has begun and threatens the pleasant and productive atmosphere of the upstairs south hallway. It is a shame, but what else can we do?

So I did what I hope our own country would do in a nuclear standoff. I point-blank refused to back down in the face of complete and utter misunderstanding:

JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T SAY I WAS THE ALPHA MALE DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T TRUE

Your move, Kohls.

If ever there were an alpha male in our department, it would be me, by-golly. I think my extreme sense of masculinity oozes out of me when I'm doing something particularly manly. Like diagramming a compound-complex sentence. Or ordering a pumpkin spice latte. Or crying while watching Homeward Bound.

Let's see Walker Texas Ranger do THAT.

In all seriousness, in some respects being the alpha male in an English department is like saying you're the healthiest guy at McDonald's. Sure, you might legitimately claim that title, but it's not like there's an expectation or anything. It's a profession that has been dominated by women for literally billions of years. Teaching literature requires showing students how to empathize with characters in a story. Empathy is a trait men are not well-known for. Remember when King Xerxes tearfully embraced King Leonidas at the Battle of Thermopylae and sat down for peace talks? Yeah. Me neither.

When I was in junior high school, you could tell my English teachers were women simply by looking at my assigned reading list:

• Island of the Blue Dolphins
• The Diary of Anne Frank
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond
• Number the Stars
• The House on Mango Street
• Across Five Aprils

All but one of those books (Across Five Aprils) had a female protagonist. And even that one was about domestic life on a farm during the Civil War, so only the girls liked it. There weren't any battles or nothin'. I didn't truly start to love English until I got to read books like Animal Farm and Anthem in class. I felt like those books finally began to move away from some of the themes I was already used to.

But you wouldn't know the field of English was inherently feminine from looking at the department we have going in Buhler. I wish I could take credit for making our department manly, but honestly that's probably not the case. The manliness quotient probably comes from the women just as much as the men. The title of "dominant male" might just go to one of them. Especially the one with the firearm. Come to think of it, that last sentence might need to be plural.

This is a group that is so productive that it looks forward to in-service days with all the fervor of an approaching Harry Potter release. This is a group so eager and excited to share ideas that we have 26 different Google Docs folders with lesson materials for everything from timed writing prompts to links to audio recordings of To Kill a Mockingbird. This is a group filled with people who love what they do.

I don't know if that's masculine or feminine. What I do know is it's pretty dang sweet.