There are a number of things that I'm not proud of. Wait, that sentence ended in a preposition. Let me fix that....
There are a number of things of which I am not proud.
Phew.
Anyway, yeah, I'm not proud of several things. I'm not going to confess anything major here. My life is fairly routine and somewhat boring, to be honest. But there's still some deep, dark secrets that I'd like to get off my chest. Here are my top 5 embarasing confessions.
1. I find the TV show Downton Abbey interesting.
Oh man, this is a big one.
Even when I describe the show to people it sounds boring. A part of me wants to hit myself when I mention all the drama surrounding Lady Grantham's garden party. Something about a bunch of up-tight Brits who can't express their true feelings openly just feels super snooty. Heaven forbid someone establish their dominance in a way other than a well-timed passive aggressive comment.
And yet I've watched it. And I've watched it more than once. And it doesn't make me feel cultured. It doesn't make me feel smart. It makes me feel like kicking myself for actually liking it.
What would the dowager countess say to me if she knew this....
2. I could eat nothing but pizza for days on end
I know I could do this because I've done it before.
If I could go an entire week without using a pot or a pan, and only eating frozen pizza, I would probably do it. And I would do it while sitting on the couch watching TV. Probably Downton Abbey.
After I've done that, I always have the exact same thought: "That was an enormous mistake." My stomach hates me for it. I lose energy. My face will feel greasy. But come the next day, when the option is cooking something or throwing a pizza in the microwave or the toaster oven, the result is always the same.
3. I forget names easily
This one is very difficult for me. I always admire people who have a knack for remembering names quickly and permanently. For me, however, I always struggle to remember people I met five minutes ago. I can remember faces. Faces are fine. But naming that face? Nope. Oftentimes I'll cop-out by calling someone "Buddy" or "Chief" instead of their actual name. Then, 10 minutes later, I remember who they are. And my shame spiral begins....
4. I could play the same video game for days straight if I didn't need to stop and eat food
There was a time when this would not cause me to feel shame at all. But that's changed. Now, as an adult, I'm judged on how productive I am and how organized my life is. If I spend hours playing a video game, that means that I spent hours NOT doing something else. That means that chances are, I wasn't playing with one of my kids. That means that there were dishes that did not get washed, or a yard that did not get raked. The time I spent on a game isn't something I can easily justify anymore. And anyway, I never finish a game feeling better about myself than I did before I started.
5. A tiny part of me still really loves Pokemon, Power Rangers, and all the other dumb things I liked as a kid
This isn't something that will change anytime soon. But I could honestly watch the Pokemon TV show, specifically the episode titled "Bye-bye Butterfree" and tear up again. I could watch an old episode of Power Rangers and still find myself cheering on the Red Ranger (the White Ranger is a poser - the guy literally used to be evil, and they turned around and made him the leader).
I know it's dumb. I know they sold that stuff to kids like me because kids don't know good stuff when they see it and they knew they could make a buck. But they still made me care, gosh darn it. And the logical part of my brain can't stop that from happening.
