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Sunday, November 30, 2014

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Ellery,

You're too small to understand a word of this right now. In fact, I'm willing to bet that as I write this at the end of a debate practice at Buhler High School, you are laughing in your mother's lap as she plays patty-cake with you.

But that won't be the case forever. Soon, (too soon) you will grow up. You will get smart. And you will begin to do more and more without your mom and dad to help you. I'm not old enough to quit seeking advice, but I have a few nuggets of wisdom that I'd like you to know and I hope you learn:
  • Limits. You will hear people talk about what girls can and can't do. Never listen to them. You're only limited by your own imagination. Don't like pink? Don't wear it. Want to play with army men? Play away. Your mother and I will love you just the same and we'll always encourage you no matter what. When your grandmother was little, she was told that if she wanted to go to college, she could only be either a nurse or a teacher. But you've got the world at your fingertips. Decide what you want to do and dive into it with abandon. 
  • Happiness. It is not guaranteed. It is not a human right. But it is something you are allowed to pursue. Take joy in this pursuit, and know that "pursuit" takes effort and determination. Never take the easy path in the name of just being "happy." Don't lose the joy that comes with the pursuit of your goals. Many people think that their choice is between working and and just learning to be happy with where they're at. Don't sell yourself short by convincing yourself there isn't joy to be taken from supreme, difficult effort.  
  • Faith. It's not just important. It's THE most important thing in your life. Your mother and I will raise you in the Church, and when you get older, your faith will be in your own hands. Pray in the good times. Pray in the bad times. And know that you were placed on this earth for a reason. You're not just occupying space while others move around you, but your life is guided by a divine purpose and a grand design. Sometimes, your mom and I think about all the things we "want" you to be when you grow up. But really, the most important thing we want is for you to be a Christian. Everything after that is so small in comparison.
  • Beauty. Disney, magazines, TV all have their own ideas of beauty. Understand that it has absolutely nothing to do with what you look like and everything to do with your actions. If you want to know if you're beautiful, look at the things you do each and every day. Don't hide your beauty. Don't hide your talents. We're given too little time on this earth to waste it playing small.
  • Adversity. Challenges make you stronger. Take joy in them and continually seek to overcome. Don't be afraid to fall. Every single failure is an opportunity to climb another mountain. Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs. He also struck out 1,330 times. I can't protect you from falling. And I don't want to. Falling is one of the best things that can happen to you. 
  • Your parents. Right now we're pretty cool. You're too little for us not to be. Really, for all you know, we're horrible misfits. But there will come a time when you start to realize how very, very human we are. We will make mistakes. We will say things we don't mean. But we will always love you. Remember that your mom and dad pray all the time that we hope to do right by you and give you every opportunity to find your purpose and your place in this life.  
  • Love. Your mom and I love you. And we know that someday you will love someone outside of this family. Many people will tell you that you need to follow your heart. Don't listen to them. While that idea can make for a nice romantic comedy on DVD, people who blindly follow their hearts find themselves in a heap of trouble. They become a bystander to the whims of their emotions. Instead of following, lead your heart. Show your heart who's the boss. It can do so much for you and bring you so much joy if you don't just hand it the keys to your life.  
We think the world of you. And that's not just because right now you're an adorable, small toddler. It's because you're our daughter. 

Love, 

Dad


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